transformer

ok, so here i am, in the city of my dreams, with the man i love. i am sitting in the beautiful little garden, smoking a cigarette, and wish i could just thoroughly enjoy my stay. but pretty much since the beginning, i'm already thinking about the fact that i have to go back on the 20th. dreading to be back in berlin, in my room, depression crawling up. fuck
but feeling helpless is the stupidest thing. i am not helpless, i can change my life for the better. if i wanna be in amsterdam with him, i need to find a job here. i have a laptop to do the research, i have a bike to go to the agencies.
'the thoughts of depressed people circle around the problem; winners think about solutions.'

i wanna have energy, be centered and have a nice toned body:
do yoga first thing every morning!
i wanna have energy, more money and better skin:
don't smoke!
i don't want to walk around with red dots in my face:
no mirrors!
i wanna get rid of frustration and fat:
go jogging!
i wanna be in amsterdam with my boyfriend:
apply for jobs!

so that's what i'm gonna do!